Celebrity chef Ina Garten says her nearly 60-year marriage still works because of one small practice.
During an appearance on Tuesday’s episode of “Good Hang with Amy Poehler,” Garten, 77, spoke about the mindset that’s shaped her relationship with her husband over the years.
The Food Network star and her husband, Jeffrey Garten, first met as teenagers at Dartmouth College, where he was a student and she was visiting her older brother. They married in 1968, when Garten was 20.
“We keep it very simple. We have a very different kind of life than we expected to. I mean, we don’t have kids. We don’t have cats and dogs. We don’t have gerbils,” Garten told host Amy Poehler. “It’s just the two of us. And if we’re trying to figure out what to do, we figure out what he wants to do and what I want to do.”
Their rule is simple: every decision they make together has to work for both of them, she said.
“And this is what Jeffrey taught me: Let’s figure out how we can both do what we want to do. It’s not about whether we get to do what you want to do or I want to do,” Garten said.
She added that it applies to “big things,” such as career choices, and “small things,” like which movie to watch together.
“I love that about him. He’s so respectful, and it’s pretty hard not to, you know, to return that,” Garten said.
Garten also recalled a conversation her husband once had with a friend of theirs about what makes a good partner.
“Jeffrey said to her, ‘What do you look for in somebody that you’re fixing up with a friend of yours?’ And she said, ‘Three things. Are they a good person? Do they want to take care of you?'” Garten said.
“And the third one really shocked me because it was so simple: ‘Does he want to be with you?'” she said.
Garten added that it made her appreciate how much her husband embodied those qualities.
“So many people want a wife, but they want to go play golf. But that’s the thing about Jeffrey. There’s nothing. I mean, he just follows me around the house,” Garten said.
Their relationship has only deepened as they’ve grown over the years, she said. In particular, their roles within the marriage have changed significantly.
“Well, I think when we were married at 20, we each had, like, roles. You know, he was the husband, I was the wife,” Garten said.
She said that even though they both had jobs, it was “assumed” she’d come home and make dinner, which she found “incredibly annoying.”
“I just didn’t want to have the ‘girl role,’ and him have the ‘boy role.’ And so, we just threw the whole thing away and started all over again,” she said.
Garten isn’t the only celebrity who has spoken about the principles that guide their marriage.
In August 2024, Rob Lowe, who has been married to Sheryl Berkoff for over 30 years, said they go to couples therapy regularly, even when they “didn’t need it.”
“It’s like taking your car in and making sure the engine’s running great,” he said.
In May, Jay Shetty said he avoids talking about work to his wife over dinner, even though they have a joint business venture.
“That’s not because I don’t love what I do. I love what I do, but when I’m with her, I just want to be with her,” Shetty said.
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