As part of Gen X, for most of my life, my work friends have typically been relatively close to me in age. Yet, after over 23 years of teaching public school, I’ve experienced a newfound joy in working with younger colleagues. I appreciate their energy and enthusiasm, not to mention their technology skills.
But it wasn’t until two years ago, when I met Ms. Barry, that I became actual friends with one of them and finally got the younger sister figure I always wanted.
Our working relationship turned into a friendship
I’m the English as a second language teacher, and she was the English language arts teacher at our school, and when we started working more closely together, I was surprised at how easy she was to work with. She was one of the few teachers who would not only ask for my suggestions but also use them. Perhaps most importantly of all, we often found ourselves laughing out loud together.
When I needed to start a Saturday program for a month to help our recent immigrant arrivals, I had to find another teacher willing to work on the weekend with me, a daunting task. Most people had prior commitments or kids to take care of over the weekend — or simply didn’t want to give up their time — but not her.
She was happy to get up early on Saturday mornings and help out. She always came in cheery and ready to help, even offering to bring items and texting me ahead of time to check in. In my experience, this kind of collaboration has been hard to come by. We spent the next few weeks teaching our students how to cook, paint, and speak English, helping them see that people of all backgrounds can work together. We belly-laughed a lot as well.
As English teachers, we both loved writing and literature, but we also loved to travel. She was always eager to hear about my time abroad, my house upstate, and my latest dates. She was never judgmental, like some of my friends could be, but was always on my side, something I really needed.
She moved away, but we remained friends
She confided in me that she was going to move to Montana, and we continued to work together for the rest of the year. I was excited for her; moving around was something I also did at her age, but I also felt a pang of loss. I had just lost my mother. It was the same year I was losing my other work bestie, the latter a grandmother who was retiring.
The following year, I was surprised at how much I missed having a younger coworker as a friend and texted her often. When I had a funny story to tell or a new crush, I missed having her eager ear nearby. While I was glad to hear about her travels, and I understand her generation’s need to job hop, I still felt her absence.
I always wondered how those relationships with huge age gaps worked out, and now I realize that, in some cases, we need people who are different from ourselves at certain times in our lives. We need that balance.
Every time I hear from her, I smile. She texted recently to tell me she thought I resembled the actor Lily James, and now I love her even more. Our friendship prompted me to seek out more friends who are younger than I am. I realized I liked hearing their perspectives and advice.
It wasn’t simply about having someone to be young and silly with because I’m around children all day; it was more about having someone to be myself with and appreciating me for my life experiences.
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