When I first received an invitation to my friend’s wedding in Tulum, Mexico, I was excited and honored to be included.
Then, as I read the RSVP instructions, it hit me: I wasn’t offered a plus-one. Instead of being upset or offended, I remembered my friend had always wanted an intimate celebration.
I also knew the bride and groom had likely considered that I didn’t have a serious partner at the time, and that our mutual acquaintances from college would make easy tablemates at dinner.
Still, that didn’t make the prospect of going alone any less daunting. If I went, my first solo travel experience would be to a foreign country for a wedding on Valentine’s Day weekend, no less.
I was concerned about feeling lonely, or worse, getting bored without a dedicated travel buddy. But instead of backing out, I decided to take on the challenge.
I realized it probably wouldn’t be the last wedding I was invited to without a plus-one, and I didn’t want to pass up the chance to explore a beautiful new destination solely for fear of a few awkward moments.
I went out of my way to connect with other guests
Like many destination weddings, the party didn’t start on the wedding day.
It was tempting to skip the casual welcome drinks since they happened the same night I landed. But, since the most anxiety-inducing element of the trip was picturing how I could enjoy the party by myself, I decided to show up — jet lag and all — to mingle with the other guests.
I spent time getting to know the groom’s family, so I’d have more than a few familiar faces to chat with on both sides of the aisle at the reception. This gave me more guests to connect with overall, as well as a chance to appreciate the full extent of the happy couple’s village.
I reconnected with former classmates, too, catching up on life since college. Instead of spending the wedding reintroducing myself, it was nice to have already cut through all the small talk. Getting past the basics in advance revived our rapport, allowing for casual conversation and easy laughter at the main event.
And at the ceremony, I came to the reassuring conclusion that these special moments were all about the bride and groom, not me.
By removing the stereotypical expectations of a big night out, I was able to romanticize the idea of being alone. Plus, it made being surrounded on the dance floor that much more special.
Bonding with all of the people who helped shape the bride and groom’s relationship brought me closer to my friends and made the celebration more meaningful.
After the wedding, I enjoyed plenty of excursions alone
Experiencing Tulum was a huge draw of coming solo to the wedding, so I stayed for a few days after the festivities to explore. I planned casual activities, like vintage shopping and trying local foods, as well as some low-stakes excursions, like swimming in a cenote, to make meaningful memories for myself.
Being able to do exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, made me appreciate having total control of my schedule.
I also posted pictures on social media, so friends back home could virtually support me in real time, which helped, too.
My solo trip was all about balance
Ultimately, what made this trip a success was knowing when to go with the flow of the group and when to indulge in alone time.
I spent plenty of time immersed in wedding festivities, made comfortable by the new relationships I built along the way. But I also dedicated more than enough of my itinerary to discovering things about Tulum (and myself) through exploration.
Without a plus one, I wasn’t alone. I was free to have the best of both worlds — and to put all my funds toward treating myself.
Appreciating this balance made a destination wedding, all on my own, a trip I could never forget.
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