This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Barbara Ford, an 83-year-old registered nurse and patient advocate for a healthcare company. Ford’s husband worked into his 80s until some health issues led him to retire. This interview is edited for length and clarity.
A nurse helps those who need help. If you have knowledge, you should share it. If you know how to do something and somebody is struggling, then lend a hand and help them.
My first job was working as a board clerk at the University of Rochester’s hospital. I wanted to be a nurse, and I discovered that I could attend the community college and earn my registered nurse license. I can still remember the feeling of my feet flying through the air because this was my dream, and I was going to be able to do it.
I was married with three children, 2, 4, and 6, and I was working full-time. I got my RN in two years and continued to work for the University of Rochester in pediatrics. As my children grew, I became certified as a school nurse and worked in schools before returning to the hospital.
I worked my way up to assistant director of nursing at a community hospital, then moved to Virginia, where I spent a year working in an emergency room. I became the head nurse on the med-surg unit before retiring in 1990, but I never stopped working.
I’m still working now at 83.
My husband was a trucker
After retiring as a nurse, I attended truck driving school and hit the road. We bought our own truck and leased it to a company in Missouri. We drove for them for 21 years, hauling government explosives across the country. He drove at night, and I drove during the day. We came home about 14 years ago.
I went back to school for nursing for a year and went into hospice. Hospice was where I’d always wanted to be. I took the roundabout way to get there, but everything that I did on the way was preparation for it.
I had to stop with patient care because of my age and balance. I didn’t feel 100% safe with the patient if I had to lift them. I would love to go back to hospice care, but I guess all things come to an end.
I was called to come into a health agency to assist with some office paperwork over a year ago. It was supposed to just be for a short time, but it turned into a regular job.
Sometimes, it would be five days a week, while other weeks it may be two or three. I typically worked from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., auditing charts and checking nurses’ notes.
Now, I’m starting a new job as a patient advocate for a healthcare company. I’ll be working from home, and I’m really excited about it.
Trucking doesn’t guarantee a retirement income
We have our Social Security income, which is the pay that was set aside for us to use in our later years. I also have a small retirement account from my time working at the hospital. Having some extra money makes it easier to go out to dinner.
My sister has been living in town here for the first time since we were teenagers, and we go out to dinner together once a week. I don’t have to worry about how I’ll pay that bill.
We’ve raised five children
Four were ours biologically. We also had foster children, and we adopted one of them. We helped our kids and our grandchildren as much as we could along the way. Had we kept it all to ourselves, we’d probably be better off financially, but I don’t regret one single thing.
If one of them were to come up and say, “I need some money for such and such,” if it made sense to me, I’d find a way to help them with it. We don’t need to be millionaires, but we just want to be able to do a little extra if we want to. There are many people out there who don’t have that ability or that cushion, and I feel for them.
I hate the feeling that because I’m older, people think I can’t remember
People think I can’t learn and have to be taken care of. I walk with a cane, but if I drop it, I can pick it up. I don’t want to get to a point where I can’t take care of myself.
My knees are pretty well shot. I’ve had one replacement, but not the other, and I really don’t want to have to go through that again. I need some help standing up.
My husband takes care of himself, his own medicines, and everything, but he can no longer do all of the activities he used to do. He can vacuum a little, but he can’t do any yard work. I try to do some of the weed eating, but we have four of our five children in the area who help out.
When you’re young, you can’t wait till you can retire
It just seems like such a wonderful thing not to have to get up in the morning, but what are you going to do for the day? Are you going to sit and watch the grass grow? How are you going to do something productive?
Somebody asked me why I don’t retire and travel. We did that for 21 years in a semi. We lived in a room that was the size of a good-sized bathroom, but that was OK.
My husband and I will soon celebrate 64 years of marriage. We have a good-standing relationship. He’ll be 88 in February, and he just retired from the school system as a bus aide due to health reasons. Otherwise, he would still be working.
My husband doesn’t want me to quit. He doesn’t need me to sit around and stare at him. We’re trying to keep our lives as normal as we can.
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