I moved to Italy once at 20 and again at 30. The second time, I entered with a new approach that made all the difference.

• I moved to Florence, Italy once when I was 20 and again at 30.
• The second time I moved, I found a way to immerse myself in Italian culture.
• It completely changed how I view Florence. I now feel like it’s a place where I belong.

I have had two major crises in my life, one at 20 and one at 30. Both times, I decided the only way to find myself out of them was to move to Florence, Italy.

The first time I moved, I learned a lot about what to do, and what not to do. So, the second time around I was able to truly immerse myself into the Italian way of living.

I now look at Florence as a place that I belong, instead of one I am searching to fit into. Here’s what I did during my first trip and what I did differently the second time that made all the difference.

My first tip to Italy just felt like I was visiting

At 20 years old, I was living in Chicago and had recently gone through some rough life events. I felt like I needed a change to regather what I wanted my future to look like. So, I took an opportunity to study Fashion Journalism in Florence.

I had never been out of the country by myself before. I had never gone anywhere where I knew absolutely no one, let alone across the ocean. The first few days were a bit of a challenge.

I stepped off the plane with my Italian translator book in one hand and map in the other. I struggled to explain my address to my Italian cab driver, but eventually made it to my new Italian apartment.

I had brought three suitcases weighing about 70 pounds each, which I proceeded to move up five flights of stairs in the middle of the Tuscan summer heat. The apartment lacked air conditioning, and I was bombarded with mosquitos the first night (I got a mosquito net the next day).

After a sweaty entrance and a few days of pushing through jetlag and starting school, I soon had my routine. Every morning, I would walk five minutes outside my door to my favorite coffee shop.

I now had an espresso guy named Mario and was pleasantly surprised by how friendly people were. Most were charmed and patient when I attempted to ask for coffee in broken Italian.

During my time in Italy, I went anywhere I could take a bus — Rome, Venice, Lake Garda, the Swiss Alps, and Tuscany.

Although I had a wonderful time, I felt like a naive tourist and left still feeling a tad lost — like I hadn’t found myself the way I’d wanted to.

The second time around, feels almost like a completely different lifetime.

The second time, I immersed myself in Italian culture

At 30, I quit my job and decided it was time to take a year off and return to Florence.

Although I was going back to school, yet again, a Creative Writing Residency program at Centro Italiano, I also was 10 years more mature. I wanted more than just fun and exploration. I wanted to use this time to dive into Italian culture.

Some of the immediate changes I made were packing two suitcases instead of three, knowing I’d be purchasing an entire suitcase worth of Italian clothing.

I also picked my apartment myself this time on HousingAnywhere, instead of having the school pick for me like before. I wanted to live in a more local neighborhood this time. I also asked for mosquito nets upon my arrival.

I also didn’t have built-in friends with my college program as I did at 20, so I was moving there completely alone. Within my first month, I hired a tutor to teach me Italian. This turned out to be my breakthrough.

One Tuesday evening when I was sitting alone at dinner, an Italian party beside me sent me a glass of wine and asked me to join them. Thanks to my trusty tutoring, I managed to hold a conversation with a group of 12 Italians.

After that, I started to frequent the local corner of the Arno River, San Frediano, more than the touristy sector of the city center. I went to discotechs and danced to popular Italian top hits instead of American ones.

I even made friends with an Italian family that repeatedly invited me over for dinner in their Florentine home.

I also traveled less. By the second half of the year, I was staying in Florence as much as possible. I didn’t just use it as a travel hub this time — I lived here like it was my home.

I wanted to learn each curve of my local neighborhood streets and join my friends for a spontaneous hike to the hills.

A year later, I’m now back in the states with a grander perspective on myself and my surroundings. Florence will always be the place that gave me that.