This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kaky Daniel, owner of KDE Events. It has been edited for length and clarity.
You’ve probably heard of military brats? Well, I grew up as a hotel brat. I was born in Kuwait and lived all over the world while my dad managed high-end hotels. I’ve lived in New Orleans, France, Mexico, Colombia, and Canada, among others.
My parents have been married for 45 years, and they’re a tale of opposites attract. My dad is a white French man of Jewish ancestry; he was educated at Cornell. My mom, on the other hand, is a Black woman who was raised in a very poor area of Colombia. Her mom was a maid.
They met when my dad was managing the Hilton Cartagena, Colombia. My mom came in for a job interview to help support her six brothers and sisters. When she left, my dad told a colleague he was going to marry her, and a year later, that’s what happened.
I used to have 2 birthday parties
One thing I admire about my parents is that they kept me in touch with both sides of the family. I lived in fancy hotels because that was a perk of my dad’s job as a manager. Yet, each December, my mom would take me back to her poor neighborhood in Colombia, and I’d play with my cousins.
As a kid, this was sometimes hard. I lived two lives. I would even have two birthday parties: one for my rich private school friends, and another with my cousins. I tried to bring those worlds together, but my cousins and friends were uncomfortable, so I learned to accommodate them.
Today, I identify with each of the countries that raised me
Despite that, my parents taught me to always be my authentic self. I would talk to the hotel owner just as candidly as I could talk to the waitstaff.
Today, I’m 39, and my multicultural background shapes who I am. When it comes to business, I think like an American. There’s something about the can-do attitude in the US that doesn’t exist everywhere else.
When it comes to love, I’m Mexican. Mexicans have a loyalty in love and friendship that is unmatched.
I eat like a Frenchman — a glass of wine, a salad, and a slice of quiche. And the way I dance? That’s Colombian for sure.
I translate between different cultural expectations
I run an event planning and logistics business, mostly focused on weddings. My multicultural background is a huge asset because I can understand what people want and deliver it to them in a way that they expect, culturally.
For example, my American clients want everything in writing. Americans love contracts — that’s just how we are.
But if I went to my South American vendors and asked for contracts and contingencies, they’d be insulted. They’d think I was too complicated to work with. They operate on a relationship built on trust.
A lot of my work is translating. I literally translate — since I speak English, French, and Spanish fluently — but also translate cultural expectations.
I’m planning a sisterhood wedding after my boyfriend died
This fall, I turn 40. I’m planning my most unique event yet to mark that milestone: a sisterhood wedding. I’m a wedding planner, so of course I love love. But I also want to celebrate the friendships that have been with me throughout my life.
Three years ago — just three days after my first wedding as a planner — my boyfriend of five years was killed. That taught me that nothing is guaranteed. It also showed me the importance of friendships. Why shouldn’t I say vows to the women who were at my side at the funeral home when he died, and who helped me grieve the man I thought I would marry?
My sisterhood wedding, with 60 friends, is taking place in Cartagena, Colombia. It’s the same city where my parents rebelled 60 years ago by having a bi-racial, cross-cultural marriage. I’m rebelling too, by professing my love for myself and my friends, rather than for a man.
Read the full article here
