This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Janet Fontane. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I retired in 2016 after a successful career in international marketing, I began a personal development course that delved into identifying and pursuing my dreams.
The dream I wanted fulfilled more than any of the others was to be married, to love and be loved in return. In the past, I’d dated different men, some for years, but never found my companion.
Friends asked why I hadn’t married — told me I was nice and pretty, and surely would have been snapped up. I often responded by saying that they should ask God why I hadn’t met anyone to marry.
Once I stopped working and life slowed, I became committed to trying to find someone. Just as I had thrown myself into my work, I would throw myself into finding my soul mate to spend the last few decades of my life with.
A friend helped me create a dating profile
When I told a friend of mine, Gina Guddat, a relationship counselor and author of “The Relationship Roadmap,” about my burning desire for marriage, she said she would help me create a profile on a dating website.
She told me I needed a wide selection of photos of myself, including one of me dressed up and one of me doing something active. Men would want to know what activities I liked doing, too, so I made sure to mention I liked traveling and skiing, participated in a Rotary Club, and went to church.
I dated a couple of men after being matched, but like before, I didn’t find the man for me, until I met Cliff in February 2021.
I met someone in 2021
Cliff and I had matched and briefly talked on the phone — he in Phoenix and I in Seattle. When he visited his son, who also lived in Seattle, he suggested we go on a date. Still nervous about catching Covid, I insisted we meet outside at a vineyard.
He was such a gentleman. We talked for three hours, with him essentially only able to see my eyes between the face mask, warm clothing, hat, and scarf. While I wasn’t sure if it would be something that would last, I decided to give us a chance and called him to talk again a couple of days later.
After this, our phone calls to each other became frequent — often we would speak to each other three times a day.
The rest, as they say, is history.
We didn’t rush things despite our age but slowly got to know one another over three years staying at each other’s homes in Seattle and Phoenix.
Vitally important to me was hearing from Cliff’s daughter-in-law about the respect Cliff had for women, and that my own family liked him very much.
We married in 2023
He made me laugh and put me first, above himself. We enjoyed each other’s company and had similar family and faith values — all non-negotiables for me. But we are also different in many ways, and these differences we both accept, not attempting to change each other. Even though a couple, we often do things we like on our own, without each other.
In December 2023, after a series of conversations about our future together, Cliff suggested we buy rings together, joking he couldn’t get down on one knee to propose.
And in April 2025, we married. It was a celebration of two very different, separate worlds coming together. We had lived so many chapters of our lives separately and were coming together to finish our final chapters together.
I had a wedding planner, a lace dress, a bridal party, and a wedding photographer — the fairytale wedding I had dreamt of for years.
Getting married at an older age is a reminder of how fleeting life can be. Several loved ones died in the lead-up to our wedding, and we missed them on the day. While grieving, we celebrated the love and life in the room. I don’t think this is a feeling I would have felt had I married at a younger age.
When friends hear about our love story, they often remark that it gives them hope that they, too, might find love in their later years. Cliff’s golfing buddies ask him if I have any girlfriends we could introduce them to. My girlfriends talk to me about the same.
Our response is: “Of course there is hope to find someone to love and live with at any age, but it requires you putting yourself out there and trying to find love.”
I’m so grateful to have found Cliff. I know he has my back for the rest of the years I’m alive, no matter what happens as we age.
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