This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Delilah Rene Luke, voice of the Sonos Holiday Party Prep Talk. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I grew up with parents who didn’t believe women should work. My mom never held a job outside the house. But like a lot of other values my parents had that I felt were BS, I just did what I was going to do. I was always ambitious and didn’t mind what they thought of it.
At first, being a DJ was a means to an end. I wanted to go to med school, but after failing organic chemistry, I realized medicine wasn’t where my gift was. Then, I learned how much one of my professors was making. I was making almost as much, with no education, working a job that I loved. I thought, why not stick with this?
I’ve never been caught up in financial success
My definition of success is different from many people. I believe if you love your life and you’re kind to people, you are successful. It doesn’t matter if you have a degree or a lot of money — if you’re not working to make the world a better place, you’re not a success in my book.
There’s a song, “That Don’t Impress Me Much.” Not only does wealth without purpose not impress me — it disgusts me. I prioritize giving back, especially to kids in foster care. I collaborated with Sonos after they made a donation to my charity, PointHope, which supports children in foster care and in African refugee camps. That generosity brings tears to my eyes.
I have 15 kids; I’ve learned love isn’t all warm feelings
I always wanted a big family, but to me, that means four to six kids. I have 15 now, and my husband has five. Many of them were adopted from foster care. Only two adoptions were planned, but the rest came into my life, and they needed a mother. In one case, I learned my adopted son had biological siblings in foster care who needed a home. Now, I also have 25 grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
I want my legacy with them to be love. When I was younger, I thought love was all warm, happy feelings. It’s not. Love is saying, “Yes, I’m going to be there for you through the hard stuff. I’m never going to give up on you or walk away. I’m never going to leave you wondering.”
That’s the most important thing in life. It’s not what you produce, or buy, or what car you drive: it’s love.
I love homemade holiday touches
My parents always made the holidays super special, even though we didn’t have a lot of money. They made most of our gifts, and we cut down our own Christmas tree. If it didn’t have enough branches, my dad would drill a hole and stuff more branches in.
I try to make the holidays as special for my kids and grandkids as they were for me. I love baking and crafting (this week I’m painting snowmen for all the kids). My 16-year-old is hosting a holiday sleepover this weekend — her idea, not mine.
I don’t worry about everything looking perfect. I don’t have anything matching in my house: not matching plates, silverware, or mugs. I prefer plastic plates: there’s less to clean up at the end. The one thing that matches — our holiday pajamas! Do you know how hard it is to get 20 pairs of matching pajamas?
My callers help me focus on the positive
At work, we start working on our holiday show in August or September. If a caller has a particularly great story, I take their number and ask if I can call them back later in the year.
I know if they’re articulate about their joy that their child is going to college, they’ll have something to be grateful for come Thanksgiving. My callers have shown me that despite all the problems in the world, there’s so much to celebrate.
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