Joy and Dan Flynn celebrated their 54-year anniversary on November 20. Having spent more than half a century together, the couple says their marriage works because they have kept life simple.
The three keys to their success? No kids, no pets, and leading a life full of gratitude for one another.
“Every day we’re grateful for what we have,” Dan told Business Insider’s Sarah Andersen, who followed the athletic couple in August as they trained together for their next round of competitions, including the upcoming World Championships in South Korea:
Joy acknowledges the great fulfillment that children can bring. “But kids, they cause tension sometimes and cause fights between couples,” said Joy, who was 78 at the time of filming.
As for pets, Joy jokes about having pet spiders, the tiny kind that scurry across the floor in her basement. However, that’s the extent of their furry friends.
“We have kept our lives extremely simple,” Joy said.
A life full of gratitude
The pair met in the Hamptons in 1968. It was Dan’s first time visiting New York. Joy was involved with another man, but he was leaving for Mexico to pursue a career as a doctor.
Dan thought Joy was beautiful from the moment he first laid eyes on her. Joy took notice after learning that Dan’s birthday was the same day as hers.
“I figured anybody who has my birthday can’t be all bad. And so it was true. He is not all bad,” she said.
They’ve basically been inseparable since.
“We’ve been very fortunate. We tend to do everything together,” said Dan, who was 79 at the time of filming.
Over the years, they’ve played tennis, skied, golfed, and competed in track and field at national and world championships together.
Their gratitude for each other is the final key ingredient to their long-lasting, successful marriage.
“We never ever take it for granted,” Joy said. “We thank each other for everything. So if I’m doing the dishes, Dan thanks me. If he’s doing the dishes, I thank him.”
Filling each day with joy
Joy said their choice to live without children or pets has helped them focus on living a life they enjoy each day.
Dan still works. He’s a commercial real estate broker. When he’s not at work, the couple fills their time with training, traveling, entertaining, hosting dinner parties, and volunteering in the community.
Most mornings, they wake up early to exercise together. Later, they’ll practice for track meets, doing CrossFit, sprint work, and jumps.
Joy said she wouldn’t be in track and field if it weren’t for Dan and their CrossFit trainer. She’d watched Dan do track and field for a couple of years when, one day, he said she should try it. Turns out, she’s extremely good at it.
While she hasn’t counted them all, Joy estimates that she has amassed about 120 medals over the last eight years, having won multiple gold medals in the long jump, high jump, triple jump, 100-meter dash, and the 4 x 100m relay.
Dan said he’s earned about 60 medals in the same time period and won gold in the long jump and triple jump.
Joy also enjoys volunteering at her church, working at the Garden Club of America and the Westhampton Garden Club in Long Island, and reading to inmates at the local county correctional facility.
She helped get April recognized as Native Plant Month in New York, and helped place restrictions on neonicitinoids (pesticides) in the state.
Dan serves on the Suffolk County Planning Commission and joins Joy on trips to Washington, D.C. to help with campaigns for local candidates whom they support.
Despite not having kids, Joy and Dan, for the past 17 years, have been mentoring and helping raise three children through a Catholic charity program that supports Latino families on Long Island. They’ve helped provide everything from tutoring and swimming lessons to attending school meetings.
Their ultimate goal is simply to stay busy and engaged.
“The more you are exposed to the world, the better your odds are, the better things are going to be for you,” Dan said.
Joy added, “When you have too much time on your hands, that’s when you start focusing on your aches and pains. Just get out and do things.”
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