“Have you tried taking a nap?”
I had been telling my doctor about my chronic tiredness, painting a picture of long days and evenings. Her question caught me off guard.
In the moment, I came up with all kinds of reasons I couldn’t take a daytime nap, but they all boiled down to this: I needed to take full advantage of the time my daughter was in school to get things done. My to-do list, both work and personal, was already never going to be complete with the time I had. How could I justify taking a nap?
Before becoming a parent, my schedule was my own
When I lived alone, I was free to cater to my circadian rhythm, especially once I started setting my own hours in a work-from-home setting. I’ve never been a morning person, and even if I am awake early, I’m not very productive. Before becoming a parent, I would often come alive in the evening, finding a second wind instead of winding down for bed.
As a parent, my schedule was mostly set for me. No matter how flexible my work is, there is nothing flexible about school pickup and drop off. Even before school entered the picture, my daughter was an alarm clock personified.
I knew that I should start going to bed earlier to accommodate my parenting schedule, but whether it was my body clock, or “revenge procrastination,” I had difficulty giving up the part of the day when I felt most at ease and productive, especially since going to bed earlier didn’t always mean that I would fall right to sleep or feel more rested.
Even though I pushed away my doctor’s question, it stuck with me. My schedule sometimes feels rigid, even though I know I’m lucky to have work that doesn’t require me to stick to certain hours. Was my day as firm as I insisted it was?
I gave naps a try to see how I felt
I decided to do a trial, napping after dropoff for a few days to see what happened. I woke up, walked my daughter to school, and then went back to bed, setting my alarm for between an hour to an hour and a half. When the alarm went off, I got up, fixed a cup of tea, and started my day for real.
Immediately, I noticed two things. First, I felt more rested. I wouldn’t have initially thought that a short nap could make a significant difference to a person who seemed to always feel tired. I was wrong. I wasn’t suddenly unable to take on the world, but I wasn’t fighting the same level of exhaustion. My thoughts were clearer, and I woke (the second time) in a better mood.
Second, I was getting more done. I’d been so afraid that “losing” that extra hour or so would put me much further behind on my work and to-do list than I otherwise would have been. Instead, I discovered that I was more efficient.
The tired version of me might have gotten the work done, but it often happened more slowly. Within my trial period of taking morning naps, it became clear that the time I was sleeping was well-invested. Not only was I not getting behind, I was farther ahead than I’d been in a long time.
Napping is now part of my morning routine
I’ve made an effort to make a morning nap part of my routine, with continued good results. But things don’t always follow routine. If I have immovable plans, or someone is sick, or I’m anxious and can’t fall asleep, I skip my nap. But I always feel the difference.
Even on days when an hour feels like too much, sometimes I will set a timer for 30 minutes, even 20 — whatever I feel I can spare. While I don’t always fall asleep, lying still for a few uninterrupted moments fills my cup, just a bit.
Feeling more capable of taking on the responsibilities of my life has improved my performance, but it’s also improved my mood. I’m not beating myself up for not going to bed early, or for being tired during the day. When I feel those things, I’m trying to listen and consider adjusting instead of feeling guilty. My goal is to support my body so that it works as optimally as possible, even if that doesn’t look like anyone else’s schedule. For now, this is what works for me.
Read the full article here
