This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Ebony Belhumeur, the 38-year-old founder of DappleAi. It’s been edited for length and clarity.
I was born and raised in LA. My parents were in and out of jail when I was growing up, and it wasn’t an easy childhood, but I wouldn’t trade it.
I got into a magnet program, which is a school with a specialized curriculum that helps foster a diverse student population. I was surrounded by kids from a completely different cultural and socioeconomic world. It was a grind, but it also showed me what was possible.
Now, I live in a small town in France with my husband and our four kids. After a career as an executive assistant in the US, I have an AI startup. Four key lessons along the way have shaped my success.
1. Ambition should feel a little delusional
I attended a community college, where I debated competitively and studied philosophy and communications. I didn’t graduate because I needed a job and couldn’t afford to keep going to school.
My husband and I moved to San Francisco, and a recruiter took me on and put me forward as a candidate for a role as an executive assistant to the senior vice president of supply chain at Sephora. I went through several rounds of interviews before landing the offer.
I saw just how much visibility an EA role gave me — across finance, brand, marketing, and HR. I had a 360-degree view of the company, and I was sitting in rooms I had no business being in. It felt surreal.
When the former CEO left, I applied to be the assistant to the new CEO, Calvin McDonald. I was the only EA in the company putting myself forward for the role, and I remember thinking, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Even if I didn’t get the job, I’d walk away with valuable experience, an interview with a high-level CEO, and a better understanding of what they look for and how they think about leadership support.
It ended up being one of the most important shifts in my career. I gained valuable experience that set me apart and helped establish me as a highly capable EA. I managed cross-functional teams, led transformation across organizations, interacted with and led investor relations, and more.
Calvin biked across the Golden Gate Bridge every day. That kind of drive lit something in me. I started thinking: If he can do that, why not me? That little bit of delusional confidence took me a long way.
2. Curiosity is a superpower
When people hear “executive assistant,” they usually think of someone ordering lunch or managing a calendar. But if you lean in, it can be a front-row seat to power and an unmatched crash course in leadership.
At first, I was just trying to keep up. Then I started asking deeper questions: Why are we doing this? How does this impact people? What are we not seeing? That curiosity shifted my role entirely. I went from being a scheduler to a strategic partner.
That mindset never left me. Whether I was reviewing contracts, planning a launch, or helping a CEO prep for a board meeting, I kept probing. What haven’t we thought of?
Curiosity became my advantage. It helped me support founders not just logistically, but intellectually. I started to notice the gaps in strategy, the stuff no one else had the time or proximity to see. That same muscle is what I’m using now to build my startup: asking different questions than everyone else.
3. Commitment is more important than compliance
After Sephora, Twitch was my gateway into tech. A recruiter also recommended me for this role.
I supported Emmett Shear, one of the founders. He was a passionate builder who wouldn’t shut up about an idea until he brought it to the world. He taught me that passion isn’t optional in startups — it’s survival.
One thing he used to say has stayed with me: “commitment, not compliance.” What mattered wasn’t doing what your manager said. It was staying laser-focused on outcomes, even if that meant pushing back. That ethos is in my bones now and is how I run my team.
I went on to support a range of founders and CEOs, including Juan Benet from Protocol Labs.
4. Innovation starts with seeing what no one else does
My husband and I left Silicon Valley because we couldn’t see a path forward to build a life with our kids. We now live in a small town in the Loire Valley of France. We’ve had two more kids here. We bike to the market. We eat too much cheese.
At first, I kept my job and travelled back and forth between San Diego and France. Now, I’m building a startup called DappleAi, asking one simple but important question: why isn’t AI helping the people who need it most? Over the last two months, our team has been heads-down on systems architecture and our first prototype.
If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to trust the long game
The times when you feel like you’re behind or not doing what everyone else is doing aren’t a waste. All the skills, every detour, and every relationship are a deposit you’ll be grateful for later on.
I’d also tell her that resilience and courage are the two most important skills she’ll ever develop.
Make yourself antifragile so you don’t just survive the pressure, you get stronger because of it. I’d remind her that every hard season is proof that she already has those muscles, even if she doesn’t realize it yet.
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